Who You Truly Are
by YukinaTakanashi
Summary: Ten years after the Toji Civil War, Hiyori still embraces herself for who she truly is, despite being half-aradama. However, the same can't go for her youngest daughter, Etou Konoka. And only Hiyori and Kanami can answer the number of questions Konoka has... (This is a one-shot side story for my fanfic: Shattered Reflection.)


**A/N: Hey guys! It's less than two weeks until I leave for Japan. Summer went by so quickly honestly. I know a lot of you are from different countries and are already in school, so good luck to all you guys for the academic year! I'm feeling very jittery because it's been a long time since I last studied abroad in Japan—and I know a lot of things have changed since then. **

**Note: This is a one-shot side story for my fanfic: "Shattered Reflection". It also takes place five months after the last chapter.**

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**Who You Truly Are**

"Careful how you hold your shinai when you twist it, Konoka. You don't want the end of your handle to snap back against your wrist."

Taking a deep breath, Etou Konoka tried to follow the instructions of her older sister, Etou Kagari. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkled from the exercise, giving lively colour to her deathly-white face. Firmly grasping the bamboo weapon in her hands, Konoka swung a strike towards her opponent. Just when she thought she would land a hit, her older sister twisted herself to the side, ducking underneath. In the blink of an eye, Konoka found the tip of Kagari's shinai just mere centimetres from her throat. The match had ended.

"I lost again," Konoka moaned, putting on a pouting expression. "You cheated and used your noro somehow!"

"No, I didn't and kenjutsu takes practice," Kagari responded, rubbing her little sister's head affectionately. "How do you think I'd teach you if I kept cheating all the time?"

When Konoka still looked unconvinced, her older sister added, "Remember I've had lots of practice, little sister. Don't worry too much about it—every kenjutsu expert has been a beginner at one point."

From the other side of the grassy backyard, relaxing in a patio chair, Etou Kanami observed her two stepdaughters. The whole family had woken up just this winter morning to a surprisingly sunny day, and everyone sprung at the chance to enjoy the nice weather. Well, almost everyone.

Kanami's eyebrows creased together when she thought of the one individual still shut up indoors. Her wife, Hiyori, had been bedridden with a new prolonged illness for at least two months by now. For the Etou family, this wasn't abnormal. The ebony-haired mother was almost always in poor health in one way or another—either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Kanami wondered whether this was due to the high levels of noro in Hiyori's bloodstream. Whether it was or not, the brown-haired woman couldn't help worrying constantly about her wife's delicate condition.

Konoka's voice brought Kanami back to Earth. "Mama, can you please spar with me?"

The tempting thought of a spar revived Kanami's former love for kenjutsu, but she decided against it. She left Hiyori alone for too long.

"Not right now, Noka-chan. Keep playing with your sister, okay?" Kanami said. "Mama needs to check on Mother for a moment."

Ditching all thoughts of sparring, Konoka said, "I wanna come!"

Her two white ponytails bounced with each skip she took, as she followed her stepmother into the large mansion. Her childish gait earned an amused smirk from her older sister.

_'Guess I'll just practice by myself then,_' Kagari thought, taking her stance once more.

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"Can I carry it in?" Konoka begged.

An expression of debate crossed Kanami's face before she cautiously handed the silver breakfast tray to the young girl. "Hold it firmly with both hands, okay?"

Proud to be entrusted with an important task, Konoka solemnly walked through the entrance of the large bedroom, after her stepmother opened the door. The first sounds they were greeted with were the dry coughs of the frail figure underneath the heavy bedsheets. Biting her bottom lip, Konoka went up to the mother she admired the most. Even when sick, Hiyori always tried to get up to care for her family—cook them meals, clean the house, do the grocery shopping... And every time, Kanami would chastise her wife before forcing her back into bed.

"Mother?"

Hiyori let out another cough, before weakly turning her head. Despite her face being so pale, the ebony-haired woman's mouth smiled warmly at the sight of her two loved ones.

"You both brought tea for me? How thoughtful," Hiyori said, sitting up against her pillows.

Konoka carefully set her burden down between her mother's legs, taking care not to topple anything over. On the tray was a delicate china tea set and silverware, along with a small bowl of clear broth. It wasn't nearly as appetizing compared to Hiyori's stews and other recipes. However, in her current state, the ebony-haired woman couldn't eat too much anyway.

"Is there anything else you'd like, Hiyori-chan?" Kanami asked, with a concerned look.

"No, this is quite alright. Thank you," was the response.

Turning to their daughter, Kanami said, "I'll take it from here, Noka-chan, okay? You go play with your sister."

Yet after exiting the bedroom, Konoka couldn't help but peek through the open doorway, out of sight. Just seeing Hiyori's wretched state made the white-haired girl hang back to make sure her mother didn't require more assistance.

"You've already done so much, Kanami," she heard Hiyori say.

"Well, just let me do some more then," Kanami replied, with a flirtatious smile.

Her reply earned her a playful smirk from Hiyori. The way Kanami spoke sounded just like the energetic Toji she once was, ready to assist anyone in any way.

Without complaint, Hiyori swallowed her pills, before letting Kanami feed her spoonfuls of broth and adjust her pillows. Neither of them said a word, but they didn't have to. Simply being with each other was enough.

From behind the door, Konoka watched Kanami sit on the edge of the bed, before brushing a stray strand of black hair from Hiyori's face. However, Hiyori caught her spouse's hand and tenderly brought it to her lips with adoring eyes.

_'Does everyone's eyes sparkle when they're in love?'_ Konoka thought. Because whether ill or not, Hiyori's large eyes always looked so full of life whenever Kanami was around—filled with warmth and tender compassion.

Konoka liked her mother's eyes—they were the very ones that she inherited. Sometimes in the privacy of the bathroom, she'd admire them in the mirror. They were the only part of her that was not a reminder of her other birth mother—a wicked aradama princess. Everything else about her body—her white hair and skin, the noro in her bloodstream, her short fangs—Konoka hated all of it.

Although she had never once met Tagitsuhime, Konoka knew enough about the aradama princess's villainy from what her family had told her—which honestly wasn't much. The information her two mothers gave was simple but limited and slightly vague. All Konoka understood was that Tagitsuhime was a monster her parents faced when they were younger. The white-haired girl knew she'd learn everything eventually once she was old enough. However, she just couldn't come to terms about why her mother, Hiyori, had to suffer for it.

"Are you happy, Hiyori-chan?" Konoka heard Kanami ask.

"Of course, Kanami. Why wouldn't I be?" came the reply. "Besides, I have you."

"Oh, is my Hiyori-chan trying to smooth talk? You weren't this coquettish when we first started dating," Kanami simpered.

"Well, I had a wonderful girlfriend who'd tease me so often in the same way," Hiyori replied.

Listening to her two parents toying with each other, Konoka could just imagine her older sister, Kagari, rolling her eyes. This wasn't what she imagined romance to be like. When she was younger, Hiyori read many fairy tales and storybooks to her. The love Hiyori and Kanami had for each other was so different compared to the ones the princesses and princes shared. In the fairy tales, there would just be happily-ever-after. No more troubles or sorrows.

_'And yet, ever since they got together, the hurdles Mother and Mama have to face only seem to increase,'_ Konoka thought.

She'd grown up having to watch both of them. The decline of her birth mother's health and the stress her stepmother would suffer as well, trying to care for all of them. Many nights, even from down the hall of her bedroom, Konoka would awaken hearing Hiyori's screams. Screaming from nightmares of the past she hardly ever spoke of. The cries of fear were awful and would make Konoka cover her ears while rocking herself back and forth, doing anything to block the terrible sounds. Kagari would eventually come into her room to embrace her until the screams stopped. Just how long could they all keep living like this?

Kanami's voice drew Konoka's attention again. "But I mean it, Hiyori-chan, are you happy?"

"Maybe I don't particularly like being unwell most of the time, but I am happy to have a loving family," Hiyori said. "You and our daughters are all I need."

Konoka knew that Kanami still had her doubts because she saw the brown-haired woman tug on her braid slightly. Her stepmother only did that whenever she was concerned about something.

"Noka-chan is becoming more and more aware of our past on her own, even when we tell her so little. Just the past hour when she was sparring with Kagari-chan, she accused her of using noro," Kanami said. "How will we tell Noka-chan when the time comes without frightening her to death? Or possibly even..."

She paused before adding, "You know what Noka-chan is like when her pride is hurt. Of course, now that she's older, she tries not to jump on people every time they push her buttons, but still!"

Hiyori took a sip of her tea before leaning against her pillows again. She reflected upon the many times she and Kanami had to restrain their youngest daughter. Yet, neither coaxing nor reprimanding affected Konoka. With aradama noro and a fiery temper, Etou Konoka was a kid who preferred rubbing somebody's nose in the dirt instead of brushing it off.

"She tries and that's what is important. She'll learn eventually that fist-fights don't solve everything. She's only ten, remember that," Hiyori said, before asking, "Did she quarrel with Kagari recently? Is that why you're bringing this up?"

"No, I just don't know how she'd respond once we tell her the truth about everything," Kanami admitted. "She's been asking so many questions lately that sometimes I don't know how to respond."

"Like what?"

A pink hue slightly came to Kanami's cheeks. "She asked me what rape was yesterday."

"And did you tell her?" Hiyori questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I told her a story about how her Auntie Kaoru slept two days in a row."

"Seriously, Kanami! When we do have to tell her the whole truth, the last thing we need is her finding out you've been lying the entire time," Hiyori exclaimed. "The only lesson she'll get out of that is that telling falsehoods is the only way to get through life—which is not what we want to teach her."

Rubbing her temple, which started aching again from her indignation, she added, "We have each other, Kanami. And we can tell her in a way that'll make her appreciate herself for who she truly is."

Her wife chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. "When we were younger, it was me who'd always do the reassuring. But it seems this time it's you that needed to remind me that things will get better."

Kanami placed Hiyori's silver breakfast tray to the side, before leaning forward to hug her wife. For several minutes, they just stayed locked in each other's embrace.

"I love you, Hiyori-chan. I'll always love you."

Hiyori hugged back just as firmly, before saying her own affirming words. Konoka had seen and heard enough. Hoping to slip away, she turned from the door when she heard Hiyori's monotone voice.

"Konoka."

The white hair on her scalp jumped. Sticking her head out from the doorway, Konoka looked into the bedroom at her two mothers, both staring back at her.

"Yes, Mother?"

"Come here," Hiyori said, reaching out her ivory-white hand.

The small ten-year-old went up and got under the thick blankets next to her mother, cuddling close to her, just like she did when she was younger. Her eyes met Hiyori's with an unwavering gaze, as the older woman stroked her white-hair softly. After a long uneasy pause, Konoka sensed that both of her mothers were waiting for her to speak first. There were so many questions the little girl had, but they all were linked to only one.

"Why are we not a normal family?"

Hiyori hugged Konoka close so that her daughter could feel the beating of her heart. "Etou Konoka, you are a descendant of the Hiiragi family, one of the most powerful lineages in Toji history. Among your ancestors were two of the most influential women in my life, your grandmother and grandaunt."

"Why did you name me after Konoka-oba-san? Wasn't she an evil aradama?" Konoka interrupted, with a frown.

"A half-aradama," Hiyori corrected. "And although she didn't always have the best intentions, just before she passed, your grandaunt unknowingly taught me a very important lesson: no one's path is set in stone. You must choose yourself—either despair or hope."

"And you think our family is full of hope?" Konoka said. "But Tagitsuhime, Konoka-oba-san, and all the other aradama princesses in our family, they all—"

"They all made their choice," Hiyori said, firmly.

"And we've made ours," Kanami added. "Although it may not seem like it, our family is a healthy one because we love and care for each other, and that's what's important."

"But, because I'm half-aradama—"

"We still will always love you. Which is why you must learn to love yourself...for who you truly are. Promise me you'll learn, Konoka. Please promise me," Hiyori said, and there was a melancholic pleading tone to her voice.

"I promise, Mother."

"Good girl," Hiyori said, before planting a kiss on her daughter's head.

The listless gaze now in Hiyori's tired eyes signalled to Kanami that it was time to steal quietly away. "Okay, Noka-chan, we should give your mother her rest, alright?"

As she and Kanami exited the bedroom, Konoka couldn't help but think about the conversation they just had. Although she didn't get to discover everything she wanted to understand, she knew Hiyori would tell her once she was old enough. If waiting would give her the answers, Konoka decided that she'd make the efforts to be patient enough for her parents' sakes.

It didn't occur to Konoka until a few minutes afterwards as to how her mother knew she was listening behind the door in the first place. And she didn't learn until she was older that Hiyori wanted her to hear everything from the very start.

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**FYI, this is my second-last fanfic before I leave. After this, I will finish Chapter Three of "Toji Harem" and then I'll be off. I will still write stories when I'm Japan, but they'll most likely be short ones. Unless I'm stupid and impulsively start another long novel. Lol. But hopefully, I won't for my studies' sake.**


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